


Orbicular

by aapicula



Series: Words of the Day [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, I made myself sad, M/M, Post-15x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22231324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aapicula/pseuds/aapicula
Summary: Through his many millions of years, Castiel has never had cause to contemplate his place in the universe. Then he meets the Winchesters.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Words of the Day [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589242
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Orbicular

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5/366 of my Word of the Day fic project.  
> (Yes, I'm some days behind WHOOPS)

**Orbicular,** [adj.]. like an orb; circular; ringlike; spherical; rounded.

Castiel is old. He’s seen the very beginnings of life on earth, the evolution of single celled organisms to thriving human civilizations. He’s seen those civilizations fall, and new ones rise in their place. He’s seen love and hate, birth and death, sunrise and sunset, countless times over countless years. He’s always been an observer, rarely a participant, and for the vast majority of his existence, that wasn’t something that ever fazed him.

But one ordinary day, as he sits at a table in a room in a bunker, a place that’s nothing but a pinprick on this planet, he contemplates his place in the entirety of this creation. He glances up, at the best friends he’s ever had. By all rights, he shouldn’t care about them. They’re primitive, tiny beings, whose lifespan on this sphere is nothing but the blink of an eye.

And yet, he’s beholden to them. To Sam and his unwavering loyalty. To his quick wit and unending desire to see the people he loves happy. Castiel counts himself lucky to be one of those people. Sam is a steadfast friend, one he wouldn’t trade for anything.

And Dean.

Regarding Dean has long since brought with it a whole host of complicated emotions. From the moment he rescued the elder Winchester from Hell, his entire grace had thrummed with the energy of Dean’s soul. Dean himself is brash, callous, and can be cruel. But he is also the single most selfless human Castiel had ever encountered. He’s far more caring than he gives himself credit for, and he loves his chosen family fiercely. And, Heaven help him, Castiel loves Dean, more than he ever thought was possible.

Through the years, through the anger and the betrayal and heartbreak, Castiel has considered himself as part of the Winchester’s fragmented, haphazard family. He’s discovered time and time again that there are few things he wouldn’t do to keep them safe, and they’ve saved him a time or two. He’s fallen for Dean, in every sense of the word, and he’s gone to hell for both of them. His home is with them. 

He should have realized his naivety.

As he leaves the bunker, steps heavy, he looks back on the years he’s had with the Winchesters. With Jack. With Mary. With this little, precious, broken family he’s built for himself. Now Dean can’t even look at him, can’t stand the sight of him. Tells him that he’s the reason for Mary’s death. Blames him for Jack. For Rowena. For everything, really.

His eyes burn with unshed tears, but he refuses to let them fall. Instead, he focuses on the plan. Where he’s going to go now, what he’s going to do next. On where in this world he can make a place for himself.

For millions of years, Castiel never considered his place in the universe, on this little blue and green sphere that has become so dear to him.

Now, he wishes desperately he didn’t have to. 


End file.
